i think

i think

there's nothing better than a clean black car

i think

mean people do suck, just like the bumper sticker says

i think

you get what you give

i think

most people are genuinely kind

i think

everyone should smell good

i think

i'll never be able to manage proper French pronunciation

i think

i could get used to living in Europe and drinking red wine at lunch

i think

that being grateful for what we have is something we should practice every day

i think

i can find beauty and art in almost anything

i think

it's crazy they have food delivery service here from burger king and kfc

i think

summer vacation should last all year long

i think

sometimes, graffiti can be a great expression of modern art

i think

that good health is more important than money

i think

that if you expect good in people or situations that is exactly what will be brought to you

i think

there is beauty in an aging face, unless the aging face is my own

i think

that thoughts can become things, so be mindful of what you are thinking

i think

that living near water makes it easier to breathe

i think

listening to a great musical soundtrack can feed my soul

i think

you should never be without a pack of gum and a lucky charm

i think

it's easy to find gratitude in great things, but to be able to find it in life's challenges, that's where the real lessons are learned

seasons

2010 brought a roller-coaster of memories. Summer in Paris can not be forgotten. And, having one of my besties travel to see us as Fall turned to Winter was a wonderful gift.

But in between the highs there were challenges that life can sometimes throw at you. Like when Winter began to turn into Spring a soul-sister got sick with the dreaded "C" word and I struggled with the feeling of helplessness at being so far away. Or, before Summer made its transition into Autumn, my mom took a fall and I tried to read between the lines of her brave sounding emails hoping she wasn't just telling me what I wanted to hear.

After much work stress there was a new beginning when Design Guy changed companies last Spring and we made a commitment to extend our stay in the UAE. But in the Fall there was a sad ending. We faced our biggest challenge when his mom passed away.

When someone close to you dies you can't help but reflect. It shouldn't take a death to realize how we want to live, but the truth is, losing somebody is sometimes the reminder we need to take inventory of how we are living our own life. Are we doing all we can to live it fully, compassionately and honestly?

I am ready to bring on the seasons of 2011. It is a given that there will be challenges mixed in with the rock-star moments, but you know what? Challenges are part of a life fully lived. You can't have one without the other.

We are each responsible for the choices we make as we continue to create our journeys. So choose to look for opportunities to learn and grow every single day and find at least one thing to be grateful for. Choose to find more reasons to laugh instead of cry.

Now, grab the champagne, and pop that cork.

i suck at transitions

Very soon the weekends will begin to mean something to me again. No more of one day blending effortlessly into the next. No more nights where we don't give any thought to starting a movie at 10pm and no more days where we can open our eyes as the light breaks through the window, squint at the clock and then roll over to snooze for awhile longer. Those will now become things we had the luxury to take for granted as we now begin 9 months of counting days till the weekend and till the next holiday on the school calendar.

I have begun to grieve the loss of another summer. It happens every year. Usually the sadness begins to creep in around two weeks before school starts and my mind becomes acutely aware of the first day looming ahead. To thoughts of "the routine" and my boys spending the week-days on their own journey of growth and learning and me spending the day crafting mine. At first I try and push it out of my mind not wanting to taint our last moments of pure togetherness and freedom with thoughts of what isn't even happening yet. But then as the one week mark approaches I begin the self-talk. The voice inside your head that reasons "the structure of a routine will be good for all of us. We should be looking forward to the different change of pace. After all, we can't realistically continue this blissful floating forever." Me, myself and I have this silent conversation until a few days before the first school bell is about to ring. Then, at that point, I begin to cut through the silence and say out-loud what we all don't want to hear "school starts in a few days." We all know it, but to say it out-loud makes it a reality that we now must prepare to face. For my boys it means that their days will no longer be entirely their own, their responsibilities will increase as will expectations. Not such a bad thing after 3 full months off. For me it means the beginning of my 5:30am wake up call so I can start my day with the newspaper and my cup of tea before I rouse my boys out of bed, make breakfast, make the lunches and greet the morning traffic as we head towards campus. Soon I will need to go back to being the homework police and the bedtime police. Two of my least favorite roles.

While I am sad to say good-bye to summer I also know from experience that once I step over the threshold into the school year on that first day I don't have to shut the door behind me all the way. In a weeks time we will begin to thrive and be grateful for the routine and the definition it brings to our life. And, we will still find ways to keep that vacation spirit alive each day in little ways. The school year offers a stretch of time where we can each concentrate more on our own personal growth while still carving out time to grab those spontaneous ice cream cones, night swims and exploration of new places on the weekends. We will appreciate those moments when they come along even more knowing we have a way to go before they are endlessly swirling around us again.

But, what is really making my heart extra heavy this year is the thought that my oldest guy is starting high-school and I am consumed with the realization, and am acutely aware, that we only have 4 summers left with him before he goes off to college. How did time speed up all of a sudden? How can I now be at the point where I can count the traditional family summers we have left to spend with our boy on one hand? When my thoughts head in that direction I need to remind myself to stay in the present and make the most of our time, because, guess what? I still have the gift of that time right now. Just like with these final days of summer, I need to make the most of the next 4 years and not cloud what I have now with thoughts of things that aren't even here yet. I need to enjoy each moment because someday I will be wishing that I had two lunches to make, two boys to rouse out of bed, and an entire school year ahead of us to spend together.

With a few days left, we will enjoy what we've got and look forward to the balance the school year will bring. It's never let us down before, always offering is own type of magic along with growth and a structure that we didn't even realize we were all sort of missing......

so what

I am in danger of becoming a hoarder. You know those people they show on Oprah that have all kinds of stuff hidden everywhere? Except that I wont have knick-knacks and kitty litter piled high and a house smelling like cat pee. Instead, you'd find boxes and boxes of Stevia I bought back in Arizona (since I have a hard time finding it here) hidden discreetly in cabinets alongside my favorite reed and oil room scents. The ones I was lucky enough to find here with the perfect vanilla fragrance, not the vanilla that smells like a mix of sugar and barf. Thus the reason I felt compelled to "stock up".

If I had enough room in the freezer I would have boxes of Aunt Jemima Buttermilk Pancakes (my Shakes favorite) piled to the tippy top and boxes of Kind Bars, cranberry almond, in the pantry. And the Egyptian Cotton Linen Spray I found that I can't live without? Bottles and bottles of that lining the shelves of my laundry room.

You see, here in Dubai you can eventually find anything your heart desires at some point......after driving all over town and making trips to multiple stores. The catch is, will they have it again when you go back? I am all excited that I found the perfect unsweetened green tea in a bottle and then next time when I walk in the store, slap in the face, the shelf is now empty. I sigh, head to the tea-bag aisle and buy a box (or twenty, in case those are gone next time) and remind myself it's less expensive to brew my own tea at home anyway. Sooner or later my favorites seem to pop up again on those shelves. In the meantime I try and find the next best thing and stay patient. This adventure I am living is not just about the novelty of being in an foreign country. It's about the lessons learned in adapting, compromising and becoming more flexible every single day. I am pretty sure that by the time we move on from here my middle name will be "flexible" instead of "wtf".

I have never been a multiple purchase kind of girl but I am becoming one for fear that my old favorites and new favorites wont be found on my next trip to the store. But, you know what? I am also becoming the kind of girl that can say "so what." They may not have exactly what I'm looking for right when I want it but maybe I'll find something new that I like even better.

And, when that Stevia I bought in Arizona runs out? Well, then I will drive all over town, go to five different stores and if I still can't find it, I will resort to asking a friend back home to send me a box......or twenty......

summer

This summer, especially in contrast to last year, has been one of my very favorites. We traveled halfway around the world and then traveled back again. On our way from Paris back to Dubai I had to pinch myself. What was I doing on a plane bound from Paris to Dubai in the first place? And more than that, the craziest shock of life about it was I was flying back "home" to a place I couldn't even locate on a map a few years before.

Last summer we spent 2 months in a villa next to a dirt lot that was under construction. No driver’s license allowing us to head to the mall during the day for an escape from the constant noise. No internet, no swimming pool and no television to distract us from the jackhammers. (See posts from June/July 2009 in case you don't remember that story...) This summer we have wifi and internet connections wherever we are, we are able to drive to theaters to watch movies and we have TV with pay-per-view. And not once have I broken out in a sweat wondering how many times I could say "excuse me" in attempting to understand someone's broken, heavily accented English before it would appear rude. Not even in Paris. It's not as daunting to me anymore.

Last summer we spent our days reading and playing endless games of monopoly. This summer we’ve had no time for board games yet. Books, we have still managed to squeeze in before bed or on our stream of sometimes seemingly endless plane flights.

Last summer we would sleep in late to make the days seem shorter and go by faster as we waited for Design Guy to get home. This summer we slept in late because we were exhausted from non-stop days of fun (and, ya, jet-lag too).

Last summer I would read the National newspaper cover to cover because time was all we had and it would kill two hours of that time. I still read the newspaper most days but it doesn't always get the attention it deserves.

While this summer has definitely been one of our very best in terms of great memories, last summer, in hindsight, offered us some good memories of its own. Looking back it was actually sort of fun (albeit in a weird way) to have no outside stimulation or electronic entertainment most days. At the time it felt boring and alienating. Then, even that was a routine we got used to. Really, I have found in reflecting on the last year, you can get used to anything. Lemons will always be able to make lemonade if you take action and accept what you've been given. It may not always taste exactly right, but anything is drinkable… if it wont kill you....

Last summer we had to rely on each other for amusement. We were creative. We had more time to talk and to listen. God gave us a slower pace as we adjusted to our new situation.

This summer we had everything we could ever want in terms of fun and diversity. Time with family and old friends and time to enjoy another new culture, Le Tour de France and amazing cathedrals. But each summer brought us something unique. And while I'd take this summer over last, a million times over, I am realizing my greatest lesson in comparing the two is about balance and not taking what you have for granted. What makes life a really great adventure or a not so great one? It's how you choose to view the situations you are given and how you bring balance and gratitude into living your life.

Now that we are back from our travels and non-stop pace, we will make sure to balance the rest of the summer with some of those "read the paper from cover to cover" and "monopoly” days we learned to enjoy last year. We will be grateful for all of it, the great days and the challenging ones, the busy ones and the quiet. You really can’t have one without the other. Both offer gifts.

My view is clearly different this year as I look out my window and compare it to the one we had last summer. I see blue sky- even through the humid haze that covers it some days. I never ever want to take what we have now, or even what we had then, for granted. There are lessons in both summers. Going through last summer got us to this fantastic one, so I will take it all.

Wow, it's amazing what a difference a year can make......

french connection

I just returned from my first trip to Paris. Ever since I took French my freshman year of high-school I've felt I was living on the wrong continent. I should have been born a French girl, darn it. Only a trip to Paris could prove me right.....or wrong.... Maybe I was just glamorizing the whole French thing. I was warned... "they are rude" ,"they don't like Americans so say that you're Canadian" ," look how they treated Oprah".

After our trip to Rome I began to have my doubts. I thought for sure I must have gotten it all wrong. Why would I be thinking I was a Parisian girl trapped in an American body this whole time? Rome was fantastic, friendly, relaxed and so photogenic, I felt like I BELONGED in Rome. Silly me. I thought that all this time I was meant to be a Parisian when really I was meant to be a Roman girl. Surely nothing could compare to the high that trip created in me.......in fact, I decided that when my French course expires this September, it is really Italian I should be taking. That accent comes so much easier for me.....yep, I'm destined to be Roman girl....but to be fair......I still really needed to compare the two cities

I'll be honest. Although I couldn't imagine liking another city more than Rome, I wanted to like Paris more. But on our first day I wasn't sold. I felt an odd loyalty to my first European experience; to the picturesque streets and old world feel of Rome. I loved the way the streets were narrow with gradual slopes and hidden alleys, buildings of all different shades of old brick and stone. Rome was instantly comfortable, friendly and animated. Paris on the other hand with her monochromatic colored buildings, and more manicured, vast streets took me awhile to get to know. But, by the end of the second day, I could feel myself falling in love. Paris proved to have all the hidden nooks and crannies of Rome along with wide avenues made for cars and long walks. The best of both worlds.

I love her great, understated refinement. I love the feeling of being part of her well-mannered, cultured sophistication. When I really think about it, Paris feels more like a city I could really live in. I have a habit of rating every new city I travel to in terms of "could I live here". Rome is a great, fantastic getaway, but Paris feels like it could really be home.

In an effort to keep my travel buzz going I have been googling France. On the plane home I even watched Pret a Porter just so I could see all the places we saw one more time. During my google frenzy I stumbled upon a quiz called "Are you a Francophile?". Hmm...I thought about that for a minute. I love the language, even though my accent is weak and my pronounciation is off. (And my recall.....forget it. For my entire first day there I kept accidently saying "si" instead of "oui". Now that I'm back in Dubai, I can't stop saying "oui" instead of "yes". All the Philippino and Indian workers are giving me strange looks.) I love, love, love the fashion and can't get enough of the je ne c'est quoi for how they put their efffortless looking outfits together. I love the wine and cheese......but then again, I love wine and cheese from every country so that may not count. I love the stylish energy that Paris has, and I love that everyone was friendly and polite. Yes, they were polite. No one was rude or mean to us....even when we admitted to being American and liking to watch Oprah.

So, am I a Francophile? Actually, I think I am more of a Parisphile. It sounds less creepy and there is just something about that city that has called to me even before I went there. I am more convinced than ever that I was a French girl living in Paris during a past life. (Surely that explains why Les Miserables is my all-time favorite musical.) Now, I just have to figure out how to become a French girl again.. in THIS life.......

i believe i can fly

Did you know I won the lottery? It was a long time ago. August 23rd, 1965. And, I've been getting richer from it ever since.

It sank in over the course of years, and many wonderful memories, that I am a lucky girl because I have one of the best moms in the world. I won the mom lottery.

She taught me so many things spoken and unspoken. How to love, how to respect and treat others the way you would like to be treated. She taught me that beauty is only skin deep and what matters is what's inside a person. She taught me to be open-minded and how to share. She raised me to not automatically be destined to became a typical member in the only child club.

Being her only child, how easy it would have been for her to be selfish and not let me go out of state for college because it was too far from home, too far from her. But, instead of holding me back, she gave me the gift of wings, knowing that with a bond like ours, distance doesn't matter.

Last year, with me heading to move farther away than anyone could have ever imagined, instead of clipping those wings with her own opinions, doubts or guilt trips, she gave me another gift. She gave me even bigger, stronger wings. Ones that could carry all the weight of the initial sadness and stress. These wings were so large that they made me proud to realize with them I can do anything I set my mind to. Yep, with these new wings I realized how strong I really can be. They also had a very special power. I could actually feel myself grow inside when I put them on.

They gave me a new sense of freedom and also made me realize what I have suspected about myself all along; independence is something that I need in order to feel alive and balanced. She realized that on the first day of kindergarten when she showed up to greet me after school and I quickly let her know, with a hand on my hip, that I wanted to walk home by myself. Her heart felt sad as the other kids grabbed their parent's hands for the walk home but she put a smile on her face and let me go ahead, staying a safe distance behind as I tried out my first solo flight. I still have that 5 year old girl's spirit. But, what's different now is that I realize what a gift it is to give someone you love wings. I could never have made this move 8,000 miles from home without them.

Thank you mom, for showing me what it means to love someone with all your heart. In that way you actually feel your chest deep inside ache with that overwhelming love. Their happiness becomes more important than your own. I feel that love for my special boys. I am trying to teach them as you taught me and even though it's not easy, I've already started to give them the best gift you ever gave me. Wings.

neil where are you?

Rod Stewart is coming, Elton John just left. So, is it unreasonable of me to wonder where Neil Diamond is?

It's starting to feel like home around here. Crate and Barrel just opened at Mall of the Emirates and Pottery Barn at Mirdiff Mall. PF Chang's is on the way, so where is Neil Diamond?

There are many concerts I want to see come here ranging from Blue October to the Black Eyed Peas. I have a wish list for sure. But when I'm longing for a piece of home and to bring back memories of great times with friends and many karaoke nights, there is nothing that fills that void like a little Sweet Caroline and some Brother Love.....

So, off I go to get my ipod and ear buds. I'll turn the volume crazy loud, sing at the top of my lungs, and will summer to come a little bit faster. That will feel so good, so good, so good....

the name game

Notice anything different about me? Besides my slowly improved understanding of French, my new flexible and more patient personality and my slightly darker hair color? Can't guess? Well then I'll tell you. I've changed my name!

No, I will not be known from now on as Garrance, Colette or Christiane. My personal name will be staying the same, although changing it to Christiane is tempting.....my BLOG is getting a new name. It will no longer be known as "The Road To Abu Dhabi" because, really, I am no longer on that road. We have lived in Dubai for 6 months now. I thought of changing the name to "The Road to Dubai", but that was not the road we started towards when we first began this journey. That was just one of those forks that we decided to take along the way. I guess I could have changed the name to "Forks in The Road" because there have been lots of those over these past two years. But, really, this blog is about the changes and growth that life can surprise you with.....those things I have always called "shocks of life"....

*make sure to change your settings to reflect the new name.

love is in the air

I am a lucky girl. I am getting to spend the entire day with my Valentine. Kids are in school and I am pretending Design Guy and I are on vacation...in Dubai...all alone.

So, how to start off our special day? After we dropped the Shakes off at school we headed to our first stop. We went to the Emirates Post Office to rent a his and her P.O Box. Does this mean we will be staying for a while? It was our third attempt to get one. You know what they say....the third time's the charm.

Design Guy went last week and they told him he needed to come back the next day between 8am-10am. Oh, that must be when the P.O person would be on duty? So, the next day, the two of us went back at 9am. Right between 8am and 10am. Oh, there are no P.O Boxes available until Saturday or Sunday between 8am and 10am? That is when there will be more available? Or, did they mean, there was no one available there to help us get a P.O. Box until Saturday or Sunday? We tried to clarify and the woman nodded for both questions........so we knew we'd be back again.

Today was the day we'd seal our love and first Valentine's Day spent together as expats in the UAE. Instead of the key to each other's heart, we'd get the key to our new P.O. Box. We walked in at 8:30am. We let them know what we were there for. Silence. Then, they looked at each other, spoke to each other in Arabic, and then in English said to us, "Oh, you need to come back today AFTER 10:30." They must have seen the look on our faces because after Design Guy explained that it was our THIRD time there they sent someone to the back to get the bag of keys.........and about 15 minutes later, we were the proud owners of our very own box.

Like all things on this expat ride, nothing has been without effort. A perfect metaphor for marriage or any relationship you foster and grow for a lifetime.... parenting, best friends... All take extra effort when you hit a snag or a bump. If it's worth it to you, then you make the effort to get through the challenges before you. You don't just give up because things aren't running smoothly. You keep trying till things flow and once again fall into place. Oh, and always make sure to keep your sense of humor. It will keep you from wanting to scream your head off like a crazy person.

Today, I am so grateful to have my Valentine with me to get through all the efforts of settling into this foreign country. And, I know there is still more effort to be made ahead of us. There have been easy days where I say "pinch me, how lucky are we to get to have this opportunity" and there are other days where I say just a plain simple "WTF". Either way, I get that same shock of life feeling......how did I get here again?? It must be love......